No more a Stranger

You are no more a stranger to me.

You come into my room every night

Though through a virtual window.

I wait for your call to the tick of the clock.

I now know the meaning of your many smiles,

the phases of your face,

the gestures of your hands.

I have known the sting of your words,

the love of your arms,

You are no more a stranger,

But the familiar face at my bedside.

The sound from the blue box beckons

And once more I run to click,

And you are there with me again

Face to face

No more a stranger.

Identity

 

I feel the pain of Tantalus

Deep within my breast

Those cruel pangs of agony

Torture without rest.

Sisyphus did heave

The stone upto the top

Just when he thought that he had won

Down again it dropped.

Cinderella's fateful night

Her destiny star crossed.

When in her prince's arm she danced

In a moment all was lost.

I dreamt , I dreamt, a long lost dream

A long lost hope, and it did seem

I 'd  live to see the day.

But Fate played me a nasty trick,

From a distance the rose seemed to bloom

But in my hands the thorns did prick

My dream condemned to doom.

I had asked him for a rainbow

To colour all our dreams

But he took all my hues away

Only his own shades held sway

Monochromatic beams

In that impenetrable grey

Those impervious nebulae

Such a weight lay on my heart

His soul consumed me part by part

Rose petals lay on the ground

Shrivelled up, all dry and brown

The colours from my dreams now drain

I'll never dare to dream again.

Decay

Day after day, side by side

we vegetate on the bed.

The slow-grinding cogs

of the dim, rotting mill

yield no butterflies,

open no new skies

to fly

Eyes grow dull with rheum

Souls stick with the glue,

the sap of lacerated bodies;

only nails grow sharper,

like ill-smelling towels that nauseate

a freshly washed face.

No thought, no effort

only being "yourself"

And what is "yourself"--"you"?

An obscure potato behind

a tower of old books and philosophies.

Mirrors

The mirror frightens me.

Images change, distort, disappear.

They had promised me 

A bunch of red ribbons

To tie our lives into a posy.

And how many afternoons did we stand,

Before the glass, entwining hands,

and see our image crystal clear,

a photograph as it were,

an eternal picture of our love.

Like a broken picture frame,

torn shreds of old snaps,

the shades in the mirror convulse

into terrifying spectres of long ago faces,

which have come and gone and come and gone.

And come yet again and gone...forever.

I look with beaded eyes and behold

another reflected memory.

The real face, the enfolding arms,

turn me cold when I behold

our picture framed yet again in glass

Is it just another face that comes and goes,

or will it stay and shine, like a star,

beside mine? Will it ever be

an unbroken image in an unbroken frame?

Will it remain the same?

Graveyards

A shadow falls across the gravyard of the mind

And snaky thoughts burrow deep

among corpses long interred.

Why did my heart scream?

What ugly spectre did it find?

I wake into the night , I lie

my heart feels pale, my mouth feels dry

Where are the oceans that I crave?

I want to sink into the waves.

Who can give me that love's deluge

in whose sea I seek refuge.

Who will drown with such a surge,

the deafening wail of a dead love's dirge?

 

Footprints

On my lover's lips I slept

in the lingering warmth

of entwining arms.

The outside world lost all its charms

for I have found at last my home.

With loving fingertips caressed

My neck, my cheek, my brow, my hair.

A flood of love drowned a tear-rent heart

Left laughter and golden sunshine there.

That moment, in a drop of purest bliss

I lost myself in his wondrous eyes.

The gentle touch upon my lips

aroused me from a dream, a fantasy,

but fantasy real seemed to be.

Life and dream one harmony.

Now even in a crowded street,

Even in the loneliest night,

I feel no likeness with the stars,

so far apart, they can never meet.

My feet are firmly on my earth

Not one pair of footprints on the sand,

but two, side by side, hand in hand.

The call

 

You must be fast asleep

Oblivious that I call

In the deepest deep

of night -- your name.

Can you hear me in your dreams,

or like the crowds, pass by

when a lunatic screams?

I am as lonely as the moon

when the stars are far away and dark.

My beams in vain go and try to reach

through the window bars, and caress each

sweet eyelash on your cheek.

So you laugh at me, you mock?

I am of mushy decadent romantic stock?

Why then, I will not deny

I wear my heart upon my sleeve

Though from what appears you may 

                                              not believe

That I may have baseless fears,

That I may weep futile tears

When loneliness torments and uncertainty rears

its dark silhouette on the pale window pane.

You cannot hear me cry out,

No?  Not even in nightmares?

So shall I ring your doorbell

On the telephone?

Then you will hear

Though I am not near.

Please do not set me so free

Like a kite in stormy winds,

but hold onto the string

lest I be strangled on some tree.

A free bird sings best

On a branch or in its nest.

Surrender

In the darkness of my soul, I found you.

A wandering ray of light in a grey cloud.

I thought I had found peace of mind at last,

from the serpentine mire of wearisome trivia.

Your love set me free, now I'm a bird

That loves the sky, and the wind beneath her wings.

Yet all the time while in the clouds she flies

Yearns for that sweet nest which she has built

with loving hands out of spirit, mind and heart

in your gentle arms.

And when your kisses blushed away my fears

I thought I would never have to cry again,

alone in the night, a hollow in my chest

and fill my days with empty dreams

My heart spoke with the finality of song.

I have delivered myself, my soul, my world

Into your caring hands,

And like a newborn infant

know no good but you.

Remorse

 

The music breathes its last

The printed page fades to black

The blinking television screen shoots

                                      poisoned darts.

Colours coagulate, dry up and fade.

      My head -- is empty

      My mind -- a blank

      My heart -- only you

      My ears -- your voice

      My eyes --  your face

      My voice -- chokes

      The air grows cold

      A red fire claws my soul

The hurt I gave to you --

  -- comes back to me

      -- a hundred-fold.

Please do not distance yourself from me

Lifeblood ebbs away.

When you're with me

When you're with me 
the minutes fly like frightened birds,
but when you're gone
they crawl like snails on scattered shards
of broken glass;
a shattered mass
of sweet daydreams
strange as it seems --
For you were here
Here on this chair...
Now there is none
but empty air.


When you're with me
something unsaid seems just right,
but when you're gone
doubt creeps out like snakes, on nights
of restless gloom
alone in my room
a gust of pain
brings acid rain.
O if only time could move
back. If only it could freeze
those happy moments --  memories.